Stocking up for back to school when it’s not your first year

I feel like I am finally out of the woods with my introductory years of teaching. For example, I know that I can stop kids from scaling walls and I know how to just keep on a-teachin’ when my crappy lamp from Wal Mart sparks out and nearly catches the carpet on fire. It’s all downhill from here, and I am confident going into year four in how to not die, how to put the fear of God into teenagers, perfect my snooze-hitting skills on my phone alarm clock, and also teach stuff.

I know we all get excited for the back to school shopping sprees, and “It’s only July!” you say, but I’m already thinking about it. I always go for the optimistic, all-I-need-is-office-supplies-and-my-life-will-be-perfect sort of list. And I always am think, “dude why didn’t I just buy hordes of chocolate” by the second week of school. In a Cali-boy surfer accent.

As excited as I am about buying fancy gel pens that I know my students will “borrow” anyway, (and then deny, deny) I am learning from experience and planning ahead. It’s my fourth year of teaching and I know there is a storm to prepare for, as Love, Teach has described as DEVOLSON: Dark, Evil Vortex of Late September, October, and November.

Disaster Preparedness for the Savvy Teacher

1. This. In giant mason jars. Hidden everywhere. Office, desk, teacher’s lounge, staff meeting room.

my mouth is literally drooling

my mouth is literally drooling as I type this

2. It’s perfect. Without actually talking, I get to drink coffee while I throw the teacher look. And blast a classic hip hop tune.


3. Does not need description


Best price I’ve seen is 11.99, help a sista out if you hear of any markdowns (UPDATE: 7.49 at Costco!!!)

4. Girl you know you are not going to curl your hair like you plan on doing EVERY first day of school. It’s just not happening.


5. WHAT. Stock up on those post-4th of July queso sales RIGHT NOW.


I’m a little scared, but also really excited


6. Because washing your face before you go to bed is TOO MUCH.


overpriced, but worth it.

7. Gotta make sure I save enough of my print allowance to get these up on the wall…


Is this legal?

9. Lulu err’day. But I think my husband will put a freeze on my credit card if I buy another pair so this is just hypothetical…


Come to me, magic pants

10. Coffee. Find a place in the building and stash it. Put it in the freezer. But freaking buy it in bulk because the worst is 3 p.m. and no coffee.

In my closet, kthanks.

In my closet, kthanks.

What’s your back to school essential that helps you from spiraling into the Dark, Evil Vortex that is Late September, October, and November?



  1. Happy smell cubes for my “warmer”. Cuz nothin’ is worse than a class of 5th graders after a Houston afternoon recess.

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